Teachers - Parents Part II

A month ago, I had some pretty definite thoughts about differences between parents and teachers. I still feel the same way and these posts are to help me process my still developing feelings as well as delineating and defining some things in my own mind. I hope these posts will be thought-provoking to you as well.

Since I'm not a 'parent' in the natural sense of the word, as I have never had children, I am somewhat limited in my understanding of who a parent is, what they do, and how they act. As I said in my last post, I feel the main difference is one of nurturing.

Teachers impart information, parents impart love and nurture. Teachers can encourage, correct, exhort and impart something of themselves into our lives. That is their main function. They are to help us learn information. They are to educate us on the subjects they are expert on and are qualified to teach us. They have us for a limited season of time. During that time, they 'teach' us whatever we can learn.

Parents, on the other hand, are there for the long haul. They are always there for us. They nurture us as they 'teach' us other things. They encourage, correct, and exhort us, but they do it with love. They do it with our best interests at heart. They see our long-range potential, and once we are 'adults,' they are still there for us to give us the benefit of their wisdom, because they are older than we are.

Some teachers are special though. Some of them seem to 'nurture' us over a longer period of time and sometimes seem more like parents to us. The Body of Christ has many teachers. It has always been so. The Apostle Paul, in I Corinthians 4:15 says, "For though you may have 10,000 instructors in Christ, you do not have many fathers..."

Wow. For though, we as modern day Christians, have many 'instructors' or teachers in Christ, who can teach us the Word, who can impart of their spirit to us, who can encourage, correct, and exhort us...we do not have many fathers.

That means, few Christians in the Body of Christ are "spiritual" parents. This is as true today as it was when Paul wrote to the Corinthians. Larry Kreider, founder of Dove Fellowship International, has written a book on it, and this issue is beginning to come to the forefront of Christianity.

I believe it's a call to spiritual parenting. It's a call to not just teach information for the short-term, but to spiritually develop 'children' in ways that will nurture them and help them to grow in the Spirit. Children are reproductions are their parents. So, in order to 'spiritually' reproduce ourselves, we need to be in relationship with those whom we can help, and whom can help us.

There are many Old Testament examples of this. David and his mighty men, Moses & Joshua, and Elijah & Elisha. If you study their stories, you'll see long-term relationship, impartation, and learning.

Timothy was a spiritual son to Paul. We don't know if Paul had natural children, but he surely had one spiritual son in Timothy. It was a long-term relationship.

My main observance in especially the last 1o-20 years is the preponderance of teachers...and how we 'students' tend to put them on pedestals and pretend they are our spiritual parents, when, most of the time, we learn by tape, CD, TV show or book. We must recognize this as teaching, but it's not parenting.

A parent is not a parent if they are not IN the person's life. Period. I've heard people say that so-and-so is their spiritual dad, their pastor, etc., when they are a nationally known evangelist or teacher, and this person does not have any kind of relationship with the evangelist or teacher other than they have their CDs and support the ministry financially.

I myself have had a real spiritual parent, but most were very anointed teachers who have imparted to me a great deal. I've had a couple of teachers who seemed like a spiritual father to me. Oral Roberts was one such. Being a student at ORU, following his ministry for years, and accepting his mandate to go into every man's world where God's light is dim and His voice is not heard well, made him seem like he was a spiritual father to me. He was very dear to me, but I did not have any kind of relationship with him other than being an ORU graduate.

There have been several ministers locally who have seemed like spiritual parents to me, but the relationship was only for a short season, or at the most a couple of years.

I am processing my feelings towards all of this. There are some great teachers I wish could have been like a spiritual parent to me - but alas, they were only teachers because the relationship was one-sided.

My point: consider asking the Lord to help you become a spiritual parent...to help you 'reproduce' yourself spiritually by helping others in a nurturing relationship and in a local body of believers. That's where you'll find the best parents, and the best 'children.'

Those are my thoughts. I welcome yours. Post a comment and let me know.

Teachers - Parents - Part I

I must admit to feeling that all I'd been doing was reviewing books. That said, I have three more I've got to post soon - and I will - but... for now - I wanna do something different.

Something's been bothering me for quite some time. I wanna know what you think...

What's the difference between 'teaching' and 'parenting?' I know there are some similiarites - what would you say is the 'one thing' that would distinguish the two? I have my ideas - I want to hear yours.

Here's what I think: I think that teachers have less a connection with us than parents do. If we do remember a teacher at all, it's because they somehow made a difference in our lives. Why? What did they do differently than the ones we don't remember?

Again, I have my opinions.

I think that the memorable teachers 'nurtured' us in some way, on some level. They not only taught us the material, they cared about us. They really did. They 'helped' us, they encouraged us. They may have done 'extra' things to help us on our journey. I believe that's the key difference.

I believe that the 'special' teachers we remember and love were actually more like parents. They nurtured us. They disciplined us when needed, but we understood it. When they disciplined us, it was more out of their caring heart than an angry head.

Now - why am I asking these questions? That's Part II.

What do YOU think? Post a comment and let me know!

Piece de Resistance book review

Pièce de Résistance Book Review

By Sandra Byrd

In a word – delightful, witty, charming, fun – Ok, I know, that’s four words! I can now say I’ve read the three books in Sandra Byrd’s French Twist series, which started with Let Them Eat Cake, then Bon Appétit, and now Pièce de Résistance.

It is chick lit at its best, romantic, yet ‘clean,’ and that’s what I like about it. I recently read a book published by a ‘secular’ publishing house about the life of a Biblical character from a Bible story. I didn’t like it. But I like this.

Like many others, I’ve enjoyed following a year and a half in the life of Lexi Stuart, the mid-20-something heroine looking to find her place in life. I could easily identify with her – she went through many of the same struggles I did at that age (and beyond) – except for me – it’s taken a lot longer to get my act together, so to speak.

In this, the final book of the series, Lexi, who has been named assistant manager, has just a few short months to get the start-up high-end bakery profitable before she runs out of operating funds. She’s called upon to do marketing and manage staff, the very two things she doesn’t like to do, but which come as part of the job package.

Complicating matters is her relationship with her attractive French boss and beau Philippe and his charming daughter Celine, plus the down-to-earth lawyer Dan, a Seattle native. Whom will she choose? Will the choice be made for her?

With plot twists and fun surprises, Sandra Byrd has finished up this particular leg of Lexi’s journey with laughter and love – wit and wisdom. Through it all, Lexi continues to grow in her relationship with the Lord, and learns to rely more on His guidance.

What I love about Sandra’s writing is that it’s inspirational, yet with a “light and airy” feeling. It’s ‘feel good’ fun reading. There will be places you laugh out loud, and places you’ll get misty-eyed. Sandra has inspired me to continue to write, beyond the two years in which she was my mentor through Christian Writer’s Guild’s Apprentice Program. In order to write, I felt I needed to start reading more – and what better way to re-connect with Sandra than through her books.
You don’t have to read the first two books in order to enter into Lexi’s current world, because the book outlines the pertinent information. But I think you’ll want to.

And me, as a Chocolatier, found Pièce de Résistance, the pièce de résistance of the French Twist series. Available online from http://www.sandrabyrd.com/, or most any bookstore or Amazon.com.

What do you think about Christian literature? Post a comment and let me know. I promise you this blog isn't going to always be all about a book I've read, but today it is.

Perspective Please - The Noticer by Andy Andrews

The subtitle says, “Sometimes, all we need is a little perspective.” But how do we get that?

In The Noticer, Andy Andrews tells his story, along with the stories of several others of how, once their perspective changed, their actions, and their lives, changed.

In Andy’s case, he relates living under a pier as a young man after his parents died. Granted, he made some poor decisions, but at his lowest point, he finds himself crying out – not knowing anyone was listening.

Along comes Jones, a man of undetermined age and undermined race. He calls himself The Noticer. He dispenses advice and perspective like Solomon dispensed wisdom. He covers everything from love language dialects to how to find a mate to how to see your own value at whatever age you may be.

We see where Andy got his perspective. He’s read over 200 biographies, and went from a teenager living under a pier to what he is today – a best-selling author and public speaker.

In order to get my own perspective, I re-read Andrews’ book The Traveler’s Gift, which several people suggested I read after I’d experienced a devastating disappointment. It helped. That’s why I was already predisposed to read The Noticer. I was not disappointed.

Reading the book helped me to look at different periods of my own life, the choices I’ve made, good and bad. I especially liked the love language “dialects” from Chapters 2 and 3. An example: I’m a little of everything, as we all are, but mainly a dog. A dog responds to words of praise. The Bible says that an encouraging word in due season is delightful, and can be like apples of gold in settings of silver.

So if you're looking for a bit of perspective in your own life, get a copy of The Noticer, and start learning how to 'notice' things in your own life. What do you think? Post a comment and let me know.

Just Rambling Today

Well - I have a half hour before I'm gonna walk, then make supper, then make some serious chocolate!

This yellow mum was in full bloom last year when I took it's picture. It was called "Golden Prophet." It was on my doggie's grave in the backyard.

But it didn't really survive the winter, although it had survived five others. It had grown and prospered. This year though, it didn't. It didn't grow at all.

There are seasons in our life when the things we do grow and prosper, and other seasons when it seems all is pruned, dead, and silent. Spiritually speaking, I'm just emerging from one of those "dead" seasons. I am not in "full bloom" yet, but I am growing. At least I think I am.

One thing I have learned from the 'dead' season - use that to its fullest. Use the time to seek the Lord, to pursue Him passionately, as the name of this blog suggests. Allow the Lord to prune away those things within you that are not pleasing to Him.

I'm using plant language here - but many of you know my 'real' language is CHOCOLATE! Because once we're "tempered" (pruned, refined, and we start to grow again) - God can use us in ways we could never imagine! And it WILL be SWEET!

We need to remember - it's a PROCESS!

Overcoming Fear - Part IV

Fear-Less

By Max Lucado

“Envision a day, just one day, absent the dread of failure, rejection, and calamity. Can you imagine a life with no fear?”

In Fearless, Max Lucado challenges us to imagine that day without fear of any kind.

What are we afraid of? In our times, we have plenty to fear. Fearless help us to identify and face our fears. Lucado shares some of his own fears he faced, such as heart surgery. From the Villagers of Stiltsville to William’s Psalm – this book takes you, chapter-by-chapter through the most common of our fears.

A discussion guide in the back is a great way to personalize what you’ve read and is ideal for small group discussion. A companion paperback booklet, Imagine Your Life Without Fear, is also available. It’s Fearless in a nutshell version and a great giveaway gift idea.

I faced a few fears of my own. The first time I read the book, I let it minister to me – and it did. The second time through helped adjust my thinking in a number of areas. The Psalms say: “The LORD is my light, and my salvation, whom shall I fear?” When we see Jesus for who He really is – we get our eyes off our fears, and they melt away in the light of God’s glory.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone – but especially if you want to learn to face your fears. Read Fearless.

Start imagining that life without fear. I am and I’m beginning to feel better for it.

What fears have you faced lately? Post a comment and let me know!

Overcoming Fear - Part 3 - Perfect Love Casts Out

Caption: Maggie in a moment of FUN!

Once Maggie got over her fear of being held, after we'd had her maybe 6-8 months or so, she found she loved being held.

Then, we could pick her up and hold her anytime we wanted, or anytime she wanted.

She no longer had fear that something would be done to her - that's what I think her root fear was. She'd never known love and she'd never known that being held was a loving thing until finally, she got it!

Once she did - she loved being held. She & I used to sit on the couch all day on a day I wasn't working. You knew she was really getting into it when she splatted out on her side, with her head in my lap. She'd start out with her head on her front paws and fall asleep. Then, after awhile, she'd go splat - and I knew she was settling in for a long hold. I always hated to disturb her at that point.

She learned to be loved and she learned to be held. She learned she was perfectly loved. Because she was perfectly loved, she could be held - that being held was a part of being loved. And she wasn't afraid of being held anymore.

I John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

We're like that. God wants to speak to our storms, and calm our fears. But we're too busy being afraid...speaking out our fears and wringing our hands.

Just like Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady, we wonder what will become of us.

Henry Higgins had just won his bet. He had transformed this cockney, uneducated, unrefined flower seller - into a beautiful, refined, and highly attractive woman. If you remember the scene, Higgins and his friend, Colonel Pickering were celebrating in song and dance! But what was Eliza doing?

She stands in the corner like a wallflower. She asks Professor Higgins what belongs to her and what doesn't. Then, she wails in fear:

"Oh what will become of me!"

She wondered that because she had no guarantee that Professor Higgins loved her enough to want her to stay on in any capacity. We know that in the end, they acknowledge they have fallen in love with each other, and end up together. "Where the devil are my slippers?" Higgins asks.

Have you ever felt that way? It's because we don't understand God's perfect love for us at times. Fear replaces faith that He will work everything out.

Next week: our book review of Fearless, by Max Lucado.

Let me know what you think! Blessings until next time!