Decisions & Consequences - Part V

Overcoming a Bad Decision - a Mistake

How does one overcome a bad decision? I don't know that I have a definitive answer, but I do know that we have to continue to move forward, even if it's just one step at a time.

The obvious thing is to 'repent' - which just means to change the way you think about it. How does this play out when we make a mistake?

We first have to acknowledge we made the mistake, and prepare ourselves to understand how this wrong direction is going to affect our future. Three and a half years ago, I made a 'mistake' in ministry - one that had a profound effect on my life - and now has totally changed my life's direction.

Which is why I say I don't have a definitive answer. The first thing I did was to throw myself into God's arms and ask Him to show me what was it in me, and my life that caused this 'mistake' to occur. I was totally broken.

I remember hearing a story once about how a shepherd will take a wandering sheep and deliberately break it's leg, then carry it around on his shoulders until it's leg is healed. After that, the sheep doesn't ever wander off again. That's what happened to my heart. It was totally broken, and the Good Shepherd carried me on His shoulders for three months until I healed enough for me to consider going His direction for me - not my direction for me.

In fact, I was so broken, when Jesus took me off His shoulders and set me on the ground again, I wasn't moving at all - until He gently put me in the direction of "chocolate." I still remember that experience - and I'm still very cautious - even though that I know that I'm never going to get anywhere unless I step out in faith. Because I'm afraid to make a mistake now. But nevertheless, I still step out.

Which is what I did again today. I stepped out and started another blog, a place to put all my book reviews, so that this space can be totally for the things I feel God is showing me. I'm going to be speaking to issues and points of view that we need to be thinking about as Christians today.

Blessings to you.

Decisions & Consequences, Part IV

A couple of posts ago, I alluded to a decision I made a long time ago that still affects me today.

That decision was in 1971. I had just gotten "put down" two chairs in band, and I wasn't a happy camper. I was already down pretty far in the clarinet pecking order. I had done everything possible to make my secondhand plastic clarinet sound better. I had bought better quality reeds, better ligatures (the thing that holds the reed to the mouthpiece) and a better mouthpiece. Alas, even after all those improvements, the clarinet still sounded plastic. Wooden clarinets have a rich, easy, clear tone quality to them that enriches your soul. I had never heard a wooden clarinet until I was in high school. I fell in love with the sound.

Earlier in the school year, our local music store had come to band and offered a deal - $100 trade-in on any old instrument. My dad was a travelling salesman for PPG. I knew he would be gone for three more days. Tuesday after school, I went down to the music store and "traded in" my old clarinet. They said we could "try out" a new instrument before we bought it. I knew I would at least get to play this beautiful-sounding new clarinet for at least three days before taking it back to the store on Saturday if Dad said no.

You had to know my dad. For some reason, he always said "No" to everything you asked for – at first. But if it was a reasonable request, or a very important one, and you responded well, he usually changed his mind. Knowing this, I expected a "No" on Friday evening.

For three glorious days, I got to play that new clarinet – in band, at home. I played it as much as I could. I played it until my lips started getting sore. My band director saw I had a new instrument. I told him I was hoping to keep it. My mother could tell the sound was different. She was sympathetic to my cause, but realistically thinking was impossible.

Of course, Dad said "No" Friday evening, but I handled it well, and didn't act too disappointed.

I was also a fairly new born-again Christian. I prayed a Gideon's Fleece type of prayer. I said, "Lord, if You want me to have this clarinet, have Dad ask me again how much it costs." Now – Dad knew how much it cost. We had gone over all the particulars.

I'm vacuuming the living floor. It was one of my Saturday chores. Five minutes go by. Dad comes into the living room.

"How much did you say that clarinet cost?"

I outwardly gulp, but inwardly I am SCREAMING!

"Well, they said…"

Within an hour, that clarinet was mine. As a result of that decision, in my senior year, I qualified for a scholarship that paid for private lessons.

As a result of the lessons, I entered a clarinet solo in the Kansas State High School Music Contest. I was also a part of two other small instrumental groups. They all qualified for medals if you got a 'one' rating.

They did. I still have those medals. I got them out about a month ago, when I was having a 'bad' day emotionally. And they showed me that decision on a Tuesday afternoon to go to the music store after school, was a decision that is still affecting me today.

Next time: How to overcome a bad decision that still haunts you.

Decisions & Consequences - Part III-B

We need to nip lawlessness in the bud...and I've seen another side of lawlessness that I also don't like very much.

There's a big thing going on the prophetic movement about word curses, what are they, who can make them, what they do.

A noted recognized prophet has come out and said that Christians can put word curses on each other, even in prayer. I understand what they are saying and they are trying to 'educate' people to be more aware of what they receive into their spirits. To do this, you negate everything you believe is a "negative" "word" "against" you.

I'm going to ask some "what if" questions:

• What if a person is actually trying to correct your stinkin' thinkin.' You're going to see that as 'negative' and you're going to think that's a word curse, when actually that person is praying for your good. But if you can't receive that, you're putting yourself in a very dangerous position of not being correctable. And Proverbs 3 states: "Whom the Lord loves, He corrects, as a father lovingly corrects his children."
  
  
• What if you're about to fall off a cliff and you don't see the danger? What if you're in left field and you're so far off-track that because of being afraid you're going to be word cursed, you can't be warned or prepared? It can set you up for a bigger disappointment - or a free-fall. You're left wondering "why didn't you tell me? Why wasn't I warned? Why did this happen?"
  

Proverbs also says, "Like a fluttering sparrow, an undeserved curse cannot alight." What that means is - if you don't deserve that curse, it can't harm you. The only curses, word or otherwise, that can harm you, are those you 'deserve.' When I got a real revelation on that a few years ago, it took fear out of my life.

Recently, someone accused me of cursing them with my words - twice. I have done a lot of soul searching and checking with others in the Body to see if this was so. The last thing I want to do is curse someone with my words.

I reviewed what I said, and I know I didn't curse. I asked the Lord directly, and He revealed I had not cursed. I tried to warn, and in prayer, I tried to bless. I'm praying for someone to receive joy, for heaven's sake! They took it as a curse. Obviously they had spiritual stops in their ears and they weren't really listening to what I was saying, because they interrupted me.

At that point, I knew further conversation was pointless and I tried graciously for about a minute to extricate myself from this phone conversation, but they wouldn't be quiet long enough to listen to what I was saying, so when I hung up, they thought I hung up on them. I'll admit it was abrupt, but they weren't listening.

I took a course once that taught "How you listen to others is how you listen to God." Are you correctable? Do you see everything 'negative' as a word curse?

Decisions & Consequences, Part III-A

As Christians, our spirits are alive, but sometimes our souls (mind, will, emotions) get in the way of hearing God's voice and mistaking what we think we hear.

I got up on my soapbox about being involved in a local congregation. Since yesterday when I posted, God showed me something else about non-church attendance that I wasn't expecting.

I was this way at one time, and I know a few people who feel this way now. A typical comment that you hear from those who do not attend church is, "It's so dead. I don't like it. It's too much like a business. The people are fake. All it is - is a social club, there's no deep spirituality. It makes me want to vomit because of the facade."

As I was getting ready for bed, God showed me that those of us who separate ourselves from the Body because of these attitudes, show ourselves to be children who don't like HIM very much.

I never would have thought of that, but I really think when we make statements against the corporate Body of Christ because we don't like the pastor, or we don't like the service, or we don't like the music, or we don't like the organizational way they operate - we're saying, "God, we don't like the way You've structured things on earth."

That's lawlessness, people. Jesus said this about lawless people, "Go away. I never knew you - you who practice lawlessness."

Once we recognize these attitudes in ourselves, we need to immediately, and I mean, immediately - change the way we think about all this. Repent just means change the way you think. It doesn't mean I'm sorry, although it could mean that, there could be and should be sorrow in changing our thinking - but it's so much more than remorse.

We have to change the way we think. We have to or we will never progress. We'll be stuck in our lawlessness until something else God orchestrates in our lives gets out attention. And believe me, that next thing will hurt a lot more than the first thing. Ask me about 2006...

I just recognized a lawless attitude in myself about "social clubs" (small groups) just a week ago. But I realize their importance in establishing relationships. And relationships take time. So I 'repented' from my lawless attitude, and I look forward to building relationships with people who are older than I - in my small group. I'm excited about mining the spiritual riches these people have. I'm excited about re-connecting with a spiritual father from Worship Center Bible School.

Prophetic people are the worst when it comes to spiritual authority and lawlessness, mainly because of spiritual immaturity. I was a prophetically-gifted person and I fell into all the traps. Thankfully, I had mentors and teachers along the way who showed me my error. And - God Himself directly intervened in my life when I would take lawless turns. He gave me grace and He corrected me very strongly on several occasions, through people, or through Himself directly.

I'm so thankful for those corrections - even though they hurt like crazy - because I would not be where I am now if not for them. I could have held to my stinkin' thinkin' - but I'm so glad I didn't. Because all stinkin' thinkin' does is delay you. If your stinkin' thinkin' is due to hurts and wounds from spiritual authority, get healing, get counseling if needed. Realize that God wants you to progress and move forward. It may hurt for awhile, weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

This too is part of my decisions and consequences series, because if not for certain decisions I made, I wouldn't be writing this. I wouldn't have had the wisdom, and I wouldn't have had the blessings of God on my life.

Thanks for reading. It's not easy reading, but I pray you will be blessed by it.

Decisions & Consequences - Part III

How did I arrive at this process? It started with a decision, but then, God and others began to play a role.

I made another conscious decision to follow the Lord no matter what. I decided again - at the end of 2009 to follow God. Emotionally, I didn't feel like it, I didn't feel happy, I just willed myself to follow the Lord.

I recommitted to pursuing the chocolate. This I knew was the thing God had been blessing at this time. This is important - it is always important to do the thing you know to do - especially when you don't know what else to do. This keeps you grounded and allows the Lord to work out things in your life.

Secondly, I received prayer at my local church. This is very important. There are many "Christians" out there who don't believe they should attend a local congregation. They believe that you can still be an "effective" Christian by worshipping God on their own and be a conference of CD/DVD set junkie 0r say that they are getting their spiritual food from national ministries, and trying to serve the Lord by 'helping' their friends, co-workers, etc.

This is deception in its subtlest form. I once took a course that put it this way: an eyeball can see, but if it's not attached to a "body" - what good is it? It can say all it wants "I can see! I can see!" But who hears its voice? No one. And we all know that sometimes appearances, and what we see isn't reality and isn't godly. How is that eyeball going to know the difference?

Even scripture says, "Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together as is the custom of some." The apostle Paul said this.

I know from experience what it is like to be an eyeball unconnected to a body. God dealt with me very strongly about it and said I needed to get myself under a spiritual authority that I could be accountable to. That is the way God has set things up here on earth.

The family unit is an example of this. The two-year old child does not tell the father what to do. The father tells the children what to do, teaching them the ways of the Lord, if it's a godly household.

I am a woman under authority. I have a pastor, I have a small group leader. I believe those decisions were also important in what happened.

Third, my oppression/melancholy started breaking off me after I received prayer from my pastor on January 9th. I got enough freedom that night to have faith that the rest of the oppression would be breaking off very soon. I didn't realize how or when, but I believed it would. And how it did!

Six days later, I get a phone call about the largest order I've ever had. The very next night, at church, during ministry time, I received the largest dose of joy I've experienced in a very, very long time. Oppression totally broke off me that night! I had joy!

Fourth, I stay close to the Lord by doing the following:

• daily Bible reading, prayer, journaling (where God speaks to me, I write the scriptures I read and comment on them)


• daily prayer at all times during the day


• staying connected to the Body of Christ at church by serving in three areas of the church, and becoming a member of a small group

Fifth, I received prayer a second time from my pastor and ministry team from my church - and that's the prayer that made all the difference. I do not believe things would have happened as they did, if I had not received the second prayer. Even Jesus prayed for the blind man twice - the one who began to see men as trees walking. The Holy Spirit brought me great joy - and He sealed the deal with the extra prayer.

Next time: As a result of all this - God shows me even something what I feel is more miraculous! How a decision I made as a teenager is still having an effect on me - today!

Decisions & Consequences - Part II

The decision I made was a simple one.

I re-embraced the chocolate business. Now, I must say that I did receive some interesting confirmations that I was to go that direction in the first place. My whole life has been about trying to follow Jesus, since I accepted Him in my heart two days before I was 16.

I have felt sometimes like Cain, wandering through my life trying to find that "one thing" I was put here to do. At any one given time in my life if you would have asked me, I would have told you, "I really think this is what God wanted me to do." My "weight" of a decision always had to do with circumstances. If it was a job - I'd get it. If it was some kind of ministry opportunity - I'd get it.

I'd never had confirmation on jobs or ministry calls or opportunities - from prophets, angels, visions, etc. The only time I think I met an angel was at ORU, and this nice looking young man told me that "God wants you to really get what you just read." It had to do with God's love for me, if I remember right.

I had never had that kind of confirmation regarding a direction - until this direction for chocolate. I had 30 dreams over a period of about 40 days - all about working with chocolate. I think I must have "needed" all that - because of the brokenness I had just gone through. I was afraid of making another mistake in direction. That error had cost me dearly in more ways than one.

And - interestingly enough - I did receive a "prophetic" word about a "new fun thing" and to "go with it." I had already begun making chocolate when I got that. The person who said that to me had never met before and didn't know I had started making chocolate.

So - I re-embraced the chocolate.

Within two weeks, oppression broke off, and I received the largest order for chocolates I'd ever had. And our Valentine's season was extraordinary.

I know it was the result of my decision.

Next time: How I arrived at this process - and what I learned from it. What do you think? As you look over your life, how have your decisions affected what you're doing right now? Post a comment and let me know.

Decisions and their consequences - Part 1

Last year I made a decision to start this blog, and another one for professional purposes. I had been taking an online writing class and I wanted to write - even if I couldn't get paid for it right away.

I "embraced" becoming a writer. I thought the chocolate business had started itself well and things were chugging along. I thought I could do two things at once.

I was wrong. Although I received encouragement to write, I didn't hardly get any writing "jobs" or submissions accepted. This sent me into a funk last fall. As a result of my pursuing writing, the chocolate business didn't do as well as I had hoped.

I had to make a decision. And I made it. I once took a spiritual development class that talked about "the weight of a decision." The point was that the more important the decision, the more outside confirmation you need to receive. The problem I had with that was that the instructors seemed to place greater emphasis for confirmation on spiritual experiences I had never had.

I didn't feel that was realistic for most followers of Christ. Next time: the decision I made and some of the consequences. What about you? How do you make the tough decisions - regarding life direction, ministry direction, etc.?