New Blog on WordPress

This blog will be changing. I may still post here - when I want to get on my soapbox, when I want to release my opinions about the world, about God, about injustice, or about anything.

But I have a new writer's blog. It's donnalhsmith.wordpress.com. Join me there for my writer's journey. Follow it, and you can choose from a number of books for free! I'll post more information on that blog.

Blessings.

Emotional Healing - Part IIA - Revelation Can Bring Joy

Yesterday, God showed me something, that even though I already knew it - it brought me great joy. If I had two "life" messages, it would be "the joy of the Lord is your strength" and "root of rejection." Because for many, many years, I suffered from a root of rejection, clinically known as "Rejection Syndrome" or "Avoidance Personality Disorder."

I didn't know any of that. I only knew I seemed different from others. I was shy and easily hurt as a child. Some of my fellow students in school took advantage of that. Through the years, though, even before I knew what to call it - God was working and healing me.

My parents were fabulous. Their unconditional love showed me what real love was like. In college, very few people rejected me, and healing began.

Then, in the 80s, I met my husband. The best man for me with his temperament. His unconditional love again showed me more of God's love and healed more.

Fourteen years ago, I was in a Bible School, and with practically her opening statement, one of our teachers said, "About half of you have a root of rejection and you need to be delivered of it." I figured it was the other half of the class, because I was feeling good at the time.

Over the years, more hurts, rejections and revelations have shown me God's healing ways. Just yesterday, I noticed when I looked at Wikipedia's description of rejection syndrome, I realized two things:

1.   Yep, that's what I had all right. Almost everything they described fit me in the past.

2.    And then it hit me - I'm not like that anymore.

That was a revelation to me. I'm NOT like that anymore! Praise the Lord! I think I'm healed. The only way to know is to be tested in it.

I have a weekend retreat outline that I've done for two of my best friends, because a clinical psychologist (who is also a writer) once told me she thought that would be the best way to bring about a healing change in others. We had a great weekend a few years ago.

I have great joy in knowing that God has brought me from rejection to acceptance. In the beloved.

The key is God's love: the more you accept His love, the more healing you get.

Next up: Back to the Strength of the Lord. What is it?

What do you think? Do you have rejection issues? Do you know someone who has? Leave a comment and let me know. May God Bless you today.

Emotional Healing Part II - Tapping into the Joy of the Lord

What brings you joy? What makes you happy? For everyone, it is different. For me, a beautiful sunrise or sunset can bring a quiet, peaceful joy. A funny movie, TV show, or reading a funny book can do it for me. Being with friends or family can bring happiness and joy. And doing things I love to do, such as writing, reading, playing piano, singing, or learning something new also bring me joy and happiness. Helping others...the list could go on and on.

Lots of verses come to mind when I think of the joy of the Lord.

In Nehemiah, he states that we should not be sorrowful, because "the joy of the LORD is your strength." I love the song by Twila Paris. "I will not falter, I will not faint. He is my Shepherd, I am not afraid" and much more. Many equate the "Joy of the Lord" as the holy laughter that comes upon people. It can be that, but I think it's so much more.

We need to know how to tap into this "Joy of the Lord" when we do feel sorrowful. The Psalmist said, "weeping endures for the night, but joy comes in the morning." There's something about a new day that can wash away the terrors, pains, and sadness of the night and the previous day. God's mercies are new every morning, thank the Lord.

Isaiah 61 has refers to joy a few times. In this chapter, the prophet Isaiah is prophesying what the Messiah's ministry to mankind will be. He's anointed. He's come to heal and deliver, to comfort and console.

Verse 3 says, "To console those who mourn in Zion. To give them beauty for ashes. The oil of joy for mourning. The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness..."

Verse 7: "Instead of your shame you shall have double honor. And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. There in their land they shall possess double. Everlasting joy shall be theirs."

When we get to heaven, we'll enter into the joy of our reward. (Matthew 25:21)

Jesus said that if we allow His Spirit to remain in us, and we abide in His love, we'll have His joy. John 15:11 says "These things I have spoken to you that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." We can have Christ's joy in us.

Next up: What is the strength of the Lord and how can we get it?

What brings you joy? Leave a comment and let me know.

We should strive for Excellence in what we do

When God made this rose, even under the present curse of this world, this rose is beautiful isn't it? God doesn't make inferior products - or people. We're always told to do our best. But I believe there is a different way of looking at it.

So why should we do our best or strive for excellence? I have to give credit where credit is due. My first weekend in Bible School, 14 years ago was cold, like it is today, and snowy. Our speaker for Contemporary Theology (which was like chapel) was our esteemed and admired director, Cliff Martin - a last minute substitute because the regular speaker couldn't make it because of the roads.

What I learned from Cliff that day has stayed with me. He spoke of the prophet Daniel, and how Daniel was a man with an excellent spirit.

That's a different take than "doing your best."

Why am I on my soapbox today? As a writer, I'm continually trying to do my best. But I also want my product, a book, or a blog, to be a product of excellence.

I recently purchased a book from a new author from a brand-new publisher. There were many grammatical errors. The story was fabulous. This writer has a great future, I believe, if the writer and the publisher learns the lesson of this blog on excellence.

Daniel 5:12 says that the heathens looked upon Daniel as a man with an excellent spirit, who could understand mysteries and interpret difficult problems. When no one else could figure it out, they sent for Daniel. In this case, it was King Belshazzar, who saw writing in Hebrew on his wall, and he could not understand it. And seeing the disembodied hand who wrote the message scared him, I think.

We all know what was the message was. Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin. Your days are numbered and you're being called into account. King Belshazzar's kingdom was taken from him that night and he died. Eeek! But it took a man of excellence to bring wisdom, revelation, and understanding to this puzzle.

I believe shoddy work of any kind by someone who calls themselves a Christian, is a poor witness, not only to other Christians, but to the world as well. Christianity already has enough detractors. Let's show the world who our God is by becoming more like Him.

I was so distracted by the errors, I felt I had wasted my money. I contacted the new publisher, who replied he was aware of the errors, but sought to get the book on the market quickly, thinking that the errors would be corrected later. Where does that leave me? I already paid full price for this book of errors.

But, I could hardly believe this! Did Christ only partially heal or deliver someone? When did it become so important to get a product out so quickly, that it is an inferior product? I couldn't get away with that in my chocolate business. My customers let me know when something is wrong. I've had to give refunds and re-send shipments.

What was the hurry to get this book out so quickly? I've been waiting years and years to have enough wisdom and training to write a book and get it published so I'm paid to write. Anyone can get a book published. But what kind of book will it be?

I want a book of excellence, written the best I can write it. I'm in revisions of a novel I'm working on. I paid a professional editor a substantial amount to do two substantive edits. I might even hire an additional proofreader if necessary, before I ever send it to a publisher.

I haven't talked to the author yet. She is so very young. But we all need to learn the lessons of patience, perseverance, and excellence. When I see her, I may tell her, as gently as possible, what she might have done to make it better beforehand, and why I feel cheated.

Leave me a comment if you agree or disagree. :-) Let's start talking. Have a blessed day. And...join the discussion, join my blog. :-)

Emotional Healing & Prophetic Words - Part 1

If you're like me, we feel covered and heavy in the midst of winter sometimes. Snow can be heavy and burden down my holly bush. But notice the holly bush is blooming with berries. It's fruitful in the middle of winter.

We feel like that - burdened down with worries, failures, depressions. Sometimes, it's all we can do just to say we still love Jesus, and we'll still follow Him. Because, where else would we go? Who else has the words that will bring us eternal life.

Many of you know I had a big disappointment in ministry seven years ago. God is good, though. He helped begin healing in a number of ways. He gave me dreams that pointed out generational problems, plus showed me my own decisions and how they affected outcomes. He had already shown me about the root of rejection I've carried since before I was born. He's given measures of healing through the last thirteen years. He is faithful to help us.

I recently submitted a prophetic word I received nine years ago to my pastor. He helped me understand a few things about myself. It helped. Somehow, without bells and whistles, healing has been coming to me in the last couple of weeks.

I've had some dramatic emotional healing experiences with God before, where I wept and felt His love strongly on me. But this one was quiet. And a quiet joy has come with it.

And one thing I know...the JOY of the LORD is our strength. That verse and the songs it has inspired, has almost been one of my life theme songs. I've laughed and laughed, and cried and cried. Each joy, when it comes to my emotions, is different. Each brings its own revelation of God's love for me.

Because that's what the healing. God's love and our revelation of it.

Next Up: Tapping into God's Joy for Us, which will bring healing.

What a Year! 2013 A Process Year

 (My Holly bush cir. 2011)   

   (Duane & I cir. 1957 or 58)

It's Christmas Eve, and before I start clearing up and cleaning up for tomorrow (we're having a few friends over for a late supper), I thought I'd reflect on this year.

It's not been an easy year, but I can say, it has been a good year.

It started with Kirby's Dad. We spent as much time with him as we could for his last couple of months. He went home to be with the Lord on 3-3-13. We miss you, Dad. He was 91 and much fun to be around.

My first memory of him was not altogether pleasant, until he realized his bark was all bark, no bite. Kirby and I were dating, and he took me home to meet his folks. Dad hardly looked up at me. He was in the middle of doing something, and he made an off-hand remark - something you would say when you knew someone better, not when you first met them. But I soon realized what was up and shook my head, laughing inside.

 

 



Then, we went to Cape May for the first time in probably 10 years. We also stayed at a place we'd never stayed before - The Mooring. It was formerly the first boardinghouse built in Cape May. We actually stayed in a converted parlor, Room 1. It was beautiful. You can see our bay window from the front left. There were doors that led directly to the front porch.

We went to Baltimore in late September for the Natural Products Expo East, and had a great few days there.

One week later, I headed off to Colorado for the best and worst few days of my life, it seemed. The two days, Friday and Saturday that I was actually in Colorado, were two of the best days I've had. My fellow Christian Writer's Guild Craftsman XI classmates were terrific to get to know. Here's our class picture. Unfortunately, one of our classmates had to leave early because his brother died, and he is not in our photo below.

I did draft a novel this year, and I'm in the process of revisions. I'm realizing that I've been privy to two kinds of processes in the last seven years.

First, God showed me that the tempering process chocolate goes through is a lot like the refiner's fire we as Christians go through. You can see earlier posts regarding that.

Secondly, the novel writing process I alluded to in the last post, is more of an endurance and humbling process. Anyone can write something and get it published if they want to pay for it. I know people who have done that and that's fine for them.

I feel I should, at least try, the traditional publishing process first - which is: 1) write it and edit it; 2)  have it professionally edited (which is the process I'm in now); 3) complete those revisions; 4) submit it to publishers in that genre.

I'm hoping to have it ready for publication by summertime.

Which now leads me to the holiday season. For Thanksgiving, we served at our community dinner. For Christmas, we're doing something new, which borrows from last year. I made a pot of turkey burger chili last year for Christmas, since we were too late to eat with Kirby's dad at Ephrata Manor.

This year, I'm making another pot of chili, and some friends are coming over later in the day.

I want to wish everyone a very, Merry Christmas and a very blessed and Happy New Year! Soon, I'll talk about the "big trip" in 2014 that Kirby and I are taking in March.

 

 

The Writing Process - a novel idea

It's a long one. One that I am learning to patient with. The idea came to me about a year and a half ago. I asked the Lord for a novel idea.

An obscure history lesson came to mind. The Gunfight at Hyde Park in Newton, Kansas.

 

My hometown was wild and wooly. Historical fiction / romance sells. I'm gonna try it.

I've finished my first draft and I'm in revisions before I submit to publishers. My former writing mentor from Christian Writer's Guild, Sandra Byrd, is helping me with it. I appreciate her, and my other mentors from CWG. Currently, I'm taking the Craftsman class - XI with DiAnn Mills as my mentor.

What are you passionate about today? For me - it's God, family/friends, chocolate, and writing. :-)

 

New Blog for Book Reviews

Check out http://passionatereadingreviewing.blogspot.com for all my book reviews. I am a book review blogger for Thomas Nelson and Bethany House. This means I get to preview books just being released for free.

Today, Plan B gets released. What to do when your life doesn't go the way you thought it was going to - and God didn't show up when or how the way you thought He would!

Decisions & Consequences - Part V

Overcoming a Bad Decision - a Mistake

How does one overcome a bad decision? I don't know that I have a definitive answer, but I do know that we have to continue to move forward, even if it's just one step at a time.

The obvious thing is to 'repent' - which just means to change the way you think about it. How does this play out when we make a mistake?

We first have to acknowledge we made the mistake, and prepare ourselves to understand how this wrong direction is going to affect our future. Three and a half years ago, I made a 'mistake' in ministry - one that had a profound effect on my life - and now has totally changed my life's direction.

Which is why I say I don't have a definitive answer. The first thing I did was to throw myself into God's arms and ask Him to show me what was it in me, and my life that caused this 'mistake' to occur. I was totally broken.

I remember hearing a story once about how a shepherd will take a wandering sheep and deliberately break it's leg, then carry it around on his shoulders until it's leg is healed. After that, the sheep doesn't ever wander off again. That's what happened to my heart. It was totally broken, and the Good Shepherd carried me on His shoulders for three months until I healed enough for me to consider going His direction for me - not my direction for me.

In fact, I was so broken, when Jesus took me off His shoulders and set me on the ground again, I wasn't moving at all - until He gently put me in the direction of "chocolate." I still remember that experience - and I'm still very cautious - even though that I know that I'm never going to get anywhere unless I step out in faith. Because I'm afraid to make a mistake now. But nevertheless, I still step out.

Which is what I did again today. I stepped out and started another blog, a place to put all my book reviews, so that this space can be totally for the things I feel God is showing me. I'm going to be speaking to issues and points of view that we need to be thinking about as Christians today.

Blessings to you.

Never Say Never - by Lisa Wingate

As a blog book reviewer for Bethany House, one of the benefits is getting a free book. The model they chose for this cover, with her carefree expression, and the hanging of elbow out the side of what looks like a pick-up truck, intrigued me.

The story is told from two first-person points of view. One, the 27-year old Kai Miller, and 70-year old Donnetta Bradford – and how their lives intersect during a Texas Gulf Coast hurricane.

The story centers on these two women, their histories, their connections, and their faith or lack thereof. Both women have good hearts, and eventually, Kai becomes “family,” in more ways than one.

I enjoyed this book. It’s a fast read. There’s plenty of suspense during unanswered questions to keep you interested throughout the book. Plus, the added perceptions of the two main characters told from each other’s point of view. How Donnetta sees Kai and how Kai sees Donnetta is interesting.

But I think the dog Radar steals the show in many cases. A young dog which also gets caught in the hurricane, has some hilarious misadventures, dragging Kai, and Donnetta’s nephew Kemp Eldridge behind him.

The succeeding fast-developing romance and misunderstandings that develop between Kai and Kemp make for interesting reading. And Donnetta’s questions about her seemingly uncaring husband are answered in such a way that will leave you cheering!

I recommend this book. I enjoyed it. You will too.

Decisions & Consequences, Part IV

A couple of posts ago, I alluded to a decision I made a long time ago that still affects me today.

That decision was in 1971. I had just gotten "put down" two chairs in band, and I wasn't a happy camper. I was already down pretty far in the clarinet pecking order. I had done everything possible to make my secondhand plastic clarinet sound better. I had bought better quality reeds, better ligatures (the thing that holds the reed to the mouthpiece) and a better mouthpiece. Alas, even after all those improvements, the clarinet still sounded plastic. Wooden clarinets have a rich, easy, clear tone quality to them that enriches your soul. I had never heard a wooden clarinet until I was in high school. I fell in love with the sound.

Earlier in the school year, our local music store had come to band and offered a deal - $100 trade-in on any old instrument. My dad was a travelling salesman for PPG. I knew he would be gone for three more days. Tuesday after school, I went down to the music store and "traded in" my old clarinet. They said we could "try out" a new instrument before we bought it. I knew I would at least get to play this beautiful-sounding new clarinet for at least three days before taking it back to the store on Saturday if Dad said no.

You had to know my dad. For some reason, he always said "No" to everything you asked for – at first. But if it was a reasonable request, or a very important one, and you responded well, he usually changed his mind. Knowing this, I expected a "No" on Friday evening.

For three glorious days, I got to play that new clarinet – in band, at home. I played it as much as I could. I played it until my lips started getting sore. My band director saw I had a new instrument. I told him I was hoping to keep it. My mother could tell the sound was different. She was sympathetic to my cause, but realistically thinking was impossible.

Of course, Dad said "No" Friday evening, but I handled it well, and didn't act too disappointed.

I was also a fairly new born-again Christian. I prayed a Gideon's Fleece type of prayer. I said, "Lord, if You want me to have this clarinet, have Dad ask me again how much it costs." Now – Dad knew how much it cost. We had gone over all the particulars.

I'm vacuuming the living floor. It was one of my Saturday chores. Five minutes go by. Dad comes into the living room.

"How much did you say that clarinet cost?"

I outwardly gulp, but inwardly I am SCREAMING!

"Well, they said…"

Within an hour, that clarinet was mine. As a result of that decision, in my senior year, I qualified for a scholarship that paid for private lessons.

As a result of the lessons, I entered a clarinet solo in the Kansas State High School Music Contest. I was also a part of two other small instrumental groups. They all qualified for medals if you got a 'one' rating.

They did. I still have those medals. I got them out about a month ago, when I was having a 'bad' day emotionally. And they showed me that decision on a Tuesday afternoon to go to the music store after school, was a decision that is still affecting me today.

Next time: How to overcome a bad decision that still haunts you.

A Rainbow Crystal of Wisdom

In Kaleidoscope, Clairmont has done it again – folksy, humble, sometimes self-deprecating humor with a message. This time the messages are from Proverbs.

In a kaleidoscope, there are many colors, many angles, and many different views of cut glass. With a turn of the wheel, you see something different. It’s the same glass, the same colors, but a different combination of puzzle pieces put together each time you turn the wheel of a kaleidoscope.

That’s what Clairmont has done with Kaleidoscope. She has used Proverbs as her cut glass, and with each turn of the wheel, she shows you something different, something unique and something wonderful.

No deep or startling revelations here, but each chapter gives you a great story, food for thought, study questions, and scripture to help you along in your journey.

I was intrigued and anxious to read the book, because I love the book of Proverbs. I read a chapter in it every day, well, almost every day. I was interested to see which proverb she chose at the beginning of each chapter, how she discussed it, and what questions regarding the topic she would bring, as well as coordinating scriptures.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to see “God’s wit and wisdom in a whole new light.”

Decisions & Consequences - Part III-B

We need to nip lawlessness in the bud...and I've seen another side of lawlessness that I also don't like very much.

There's a big thing going on the prophetic movement about word curses, what are they, who can make them, what they do.

A noted recognized prophet has come out and said that Christians can put word curses on each other, even in prayer. I understand what they are saying and they are trying to 'educate' people to be more aware of what they receive into their spirits. To do this, you negate everything you believe is a "negative" "word" "against" you.

I'm going to ask some "what if" questions:

• What if a person is actually trying to correct your stinkin' thinkin.' You're going to see that as 'negative' and you're going to think that's a word curse, when actually that person is praying for your good. But if you can't receive that, you're putting yourself in a very dangerous position of not being correctable. And Proverbs 3 states: "Whom the Lord loves, He corrects, as a father lovingly corrects his children."
  
  
• What if you're about to fall off a cliff and you don't see the danger? What if you're in left field and you're so far off-track that because of being afraid you're going to be word cursed, you can't be warned or prepared? It can set you up for a bigger disappointment - or a free-fall. You're left wondering "why didn't you tell me? Why wasn't I warned? Why did this happen?"
  

Proverbs also says, "Like a fluttering sparrow, an undeserved curse cannot alight." What that means is - if you don't deserve that curse, it can't harm you. The only curses, word or otherwise, that can harm you, are those you 'deserve.' When I got a real revelation on that a few years ago, it took fear out of my life.

Recently, someone accused me of cursing them with my words - twice. I have done a lot of soul searching and checking with others in the Body to see if this was so. The last thing I want to do is curse someone with my words.

I reviewed what I said, and I know I didn't curse. I asked the Lord directly, and He revealed I had not cursed. I tried to warn, and in prayer, I tried to bless. I'm praying for someone to receive joy, for heaven's sake! They took it as a curse. Obviously they had spiritual stops in their ears and they weren't really listening to what I was saying, because they interrupted me.

At that point, I knew further conversation was pointless and I tried graciously for about a minute to extricate myself from this phone conversation, but they wouldn't be quiet long enough to listen to what I was saying, so when I hung up, they thought I hung up on them. I'll admit it was abrupt, but they weren't listening.

I took a course once that taught "How you listen to others is how you listen to God." Are you correctable? Do you see everything 'negative' as a word curse?

Decisions & Consequences, Part III-A

As Christians, our spirits are alive, but sometimes our souls (mind, will, emotions) get in the way of hearing God's voice and mistaking what we think we hear.

I got up on my soapbox about being involved in a local congregation. Since yesterday when I posted, God showed me something else about non-church attendance that I wasn't expecting.

I was this way at one time, and I know a few people who feel this way now. A typical comment that you hear from those who do not attend church is, "It's so dead. I don't like it. It's too much like a business. The people are fake. All it is - is a social club, there's no deep spirituality. It makes me want to vomit because of the facade."

As I was getting ready for bed, God showed me that those of us who separate ourselves from the Body because of these attitudes, show ourselves to be children who don't like HIM very much.

I never would have thought of that, but I really think when we make statements against the corporate Body of Christ because we don't like the pastor, or we don't like the service, or we don't like the music, or we don't like the organizational way they operate - we're saying, "God, we don't like the way You've structured things on earth."

That's lawlessness, people. Jesus said this about lawless people, "Go away. I never knew you - you who practice lawlessness."

Once we recognize these attitudes in ourselves, we need to immediately, and I mean, immediately - change the way we think about all this. Repent just means change the way you think. It doesn't mean I'm sorry, although it could mean that, there could be and should be sorrow in changing our thinking - but it's so much more than remorse.

We have to change the way we think. We have to or we will never progress. We'll be stuck in our lawlessness until something else God orchestrates in our lives gets out attention. And believe me, that next thing will hurt a lot more than the first thing. Ask me about 2006...

I just recognized a lawless attitude in myself about "social clubs" (small groups) just a week ago. But I realize their importance in establishing relationships. And relationships take time. So I 'repented' from my lawless attitude, and I look forward to building relationships with people who are older than I - in my small group. I'm excited about mining the spiritual riches these people have. I'm excited about re-connecting with a spiritual father from Worship Center Bible School.

Prophetic people are the worst when it comes to spiritual authority and lawlessness, mainly because of spiritual immaturity. I was a prophetically-gifted person and I fell into all the traps. Thankfully, I had mentors and teachers along the way who showed me my error. And - God Himself directly intervened in my life when I would take lawless turns. He gave me grace and He corrected me very strongly on several occasions, through people, or through Himself directly.

I'm so thankful for those corrections - even though they hurt like crazy - because I would not be where I am now if not for them. I could have held to my stinkin' thinkin' - but I'm so glad I didn't. Because all stinkin' thinkin' does is delay you. If your stinkin' thinkin' is due to hurts and wounds from spiritual authority, get healing, get counseling if needed. Realize that God wants you to progress and move forward. It may hurt for awhile, weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

This too is part of my decisions and consequences series, because if not for certain decisions I made, I wouldn't be writing this. I wouldn't have had the wisdom, and I wouldn't have had the blessings of God on my life.

Thanks for reading. It's not easy reading, but I pray you will be blessed by it.

Decisions & Consequences - Part III

How did I arrive at this process? It started with a decision, but then, God and others began to play a role.

I made another conscious decision to follow the Lord no matter what. I decided again - at the end of 2009 to follow God. Emotionally, I didn't feel like it, I didn't feel happy, I just willed myself to follow the Lord.

I recommitted to pursuing the chocolate. This I knew was the thing God had been blessing at this time. This is important - it is always important to do the thing you know to do - especially when you don't know what else to do. This keeps you grounded and allows the Lord to work out things in your life.

Secondly, I received prayer at my local church. This is very important. There are many "Christians" out there who don't believe they should attend a local congregation. They believe that you can still be an "effective" Christian by worshipping God on their own and be a conference of CD/DVD set junkie 0r say that they are getting their spiritual food from national ministries, and trying to serve the Lord by 'helping' their friends, co-workers, etc.

This is deception in its subtlest form. I once took a course that put it this way: an eyeball can see, but if it's not attached to a "body" - what good is it? It can say all it wants "I can see! I can see!" But who hears its voice? No one. And we all know that sometimes appearances, and what we see isn't reality and isn't godly. How is that eyeball going to know the difference?

Even scripture says, "Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together as is the custom of some." The apostle Paul said this.

I know from experience what it is like to be an eyeball unconnected to a body. God dealt with me very strongly about it and said I needed to get myself under a spiritual authority that I could be accountable to. That is the way God has set things up here on earth.

The family unit is an example of this. The two-year old child does not tell the father what to do. The father tells the children what to do, teaching them the ways of the Lord, if it's a godly household.

I am a woman under authority. I have a pastor, I have a small group leader. I believe those decisions were also important in what happened.

Third, my oppression/melancholy started breaking off me after I received prayer from my pastor on January 9th. I got enough freedom that night to have faith that the rest of the oppression would be breaking off very soon. I didn't realize how or when, but I believed it would. And how it did!

Six days later, I get a phone call about the largest order I've ever had. The very next night, at church, during ministry time, I received the largest dose of joy I've experienced in a very, very long time. Oppression totally broke off me that night! I had joy!

Fourth, I stay close to the Lord by doing the following:

• daily Bible reading, prayer, journaling (where God speaks to me, I write the scriptures I read and comment on them)


• daily prayer at all times during the day


• staying connected to the Body of Christ at church by serving in three areas of the church, and becoming a member of a small group

Fifth, I received prayer a second time from my pastor and ministry team from my church - and that's the prayer that made all the difference. I do not believe things would have happened as they did, if I had not received the second prayer. Even Jesus prayed for the blind man twice - the one who began to see men as trees walking. The Holy Spirit brought me great joy - and He sealed the deal with the extra prayer.

Next time: As a result of all this - God shows me even something what I feel is more miraculous! How a decision I made as a teenager is still having an effect on me - today!

Decisions & Consequences - Part II

The decision I made was a simple one.

I re-embraced the chocolate business. Now, I must say that I did receive some interesting confirmations that I was to go that direction in the first place. My whole life has been about trying to follow Jesus, since I accepted Him in my heart two days before I was 16.

I have felt sometimes like Cain, wandering through my life trying to find that "one thing" I was put here to do. At any one given time in my life if you would have asked me, I would have told you, "I really think this is what God wanted me to do." My "weight" of a decision always had to do with circumstances. If it was a job - I'd get it. If it was some kind of ministry opportunity - I'd get it.

I'd never had confirmation on jobs or ministry calls or opportunities - from prophets, angels, visions, etc. The only time I think I met an angel was at ORU, and this nice looking young man told me that "God wants you to really get what you just read." It had to do with God's love for me, if I remember right.

I had never had that kind of confirmation regarding a direction - until this direction for chocolate. I had 30 dreams over a period of about 40 days - all about working with chocolate. I think I must have "needed" all that - because of the brokenness I had just gone through. I was afraid of making another mistake in direction. That error had cost me dearly in more ways than one.

And - interestingly enough - I did receive a "prophetic" word about a "new fun thing" and to "go with it." I had already begun making chocolate when I got that. The person who said that to me had never met before and didn't know I had started making chocolate.

So - I re-embraced the chocolate.

Within two weeks, oppression broke off, and I received the largest order for chocolates I'd ever had. And our Valentine's season was extraordinary.

I know it was the result of my decision.

Next time: How I arrived at this process - and what I learned from it. What do you think? As you look over your life, how have your decisions affected what you're doing right now? Post a comment and let me know.

Decisions and their consequences - Part 1

Last year I made a decision to start this blog, and another one for professional purposes. I had been taking an online writing class and I wanted to write - even if I couldn't get paid for it right away.

I "embraced" becoming a writer. I thought the chocolate business had started itself well and things were chugging along. I thought I could do two things at once.

I was wrong. Although I received encouragement to write, I didn't hardly get any writing "jobs" or submissions accepted. This sent me into a funk last fall. As a result of my pursuing writing, the chocolate business didn't do as well as I had hoped.

I had to make a decision. And I made it. I once took a spiritual development class that talked about "the weight of a decision." The point was that the more important the decision, the more outside confirmation you need to receive. The problem I had with that was that the instructors seemed to place greater emphasis for confirmation on spiritual experiences I had never had.

I didn't feel that was realistic for most followers of Christ. Next time: the decision I made and some of the consequences. What about you? How do you make the tough decisions - regarding life direction, ministry direction, etc.?

The Hidden Flame by Janette Oke & Davis Bunn

I hadn’t read the first book in the series, but they tell you what you need to know. I love Christian historical fiction, and this book got my interest, and kept it. I believe that the time period was very difficult, and tension-filled, as the book was on many counts. But it was also a book weaving the Bible and its events into it.

It is shortly after the Holy Spirit has fallen in the book of Acts. The Christian community grows by leaps and bounds every day.

Abigail’s friends have just gotten married and they have to leave Jerusalem immediately or suffer the consequences. That leaves Abigail and her brother alone in the Christian community. Jacob wants to be a soldier, but he doesn’t realize what that means. Two men, a Roman, and a Jew, are both captivated by Abigail’s stunning beauty.

All the attitudes of the people of the day, the traditional Jewish attitudes, the Roman attitudes, and how the new believers themselves felt about what was going on. The new “church” is taking care of the widows and orphans. Abigail helps out with this ministry and becomes attached to Stephen. We know that relationship, though short, is a solid one. The Jewish man however, doesn’t take rejection well, and conspires to halt the spread of this new sect of Judaism.

The backdrop is Jerusalem. The drama, the miracles, and signs and wonders are all there to be enjoyed and inspired by. The pageantry of the brutal Roman gladiators is also present. There is enough food for thought to keep one’s mind actively engaged in the story.

I liked it.

Plain Pursuit - Amish Fiction

Plain Pursuit - by Beth Wiseman

Maybe because I live in Lancaster County…maybe because I don’t usually go with ‘hot’ trends in literature…or maybe it’s just me – but Plain Pursuit didn’t jerk my chain or pull too hard on my heart strings.

That’s not to say it’s not a compelling story – it is. And because the author has Lancaster County Amish connections, it’s ‘accurate.’ But I didn’t feel it was terribly realistic. It stretched the bounds of my incredulity. Like I said, maybe it’s because I live here. Maybe it’s because I don’t usually read the hottest new trend in Christian fiction, which is Amish fiction, right now.

It’s our curiosity which makes us want to learn more about the Amish. How can they live in a society of text messaging and computers, when they don’t even have a phone in their house?

The story centers around Carley, a reporter from Houston, Texas on forced emotional leave from her job. She decides to contact an old friend who has become Amish and stay with her awhile. While there, the friend’s stepson becomes gravely ill and needs a kidney transplant. Of course, for dramatics sake, the only relative who is a match is shunned uncle.

There are a few surprises – like the uncle having a health crisis of his own…and a bit of Amish hypocrisy is exposed through that. I did like the fact that all views were represented in the book. The Amish view and the ‘English’ view.

Don’t get me wrong. I live among the Amish. I drive around them, I have one Amish friend, and I realize their rules and regulations. I respect them and their way of life.

If you love Amish fiction, you’ll love the compelling story, even if a bit contrived, of Plain Pursuit.

When Heaven Comes Down - Book Review

I like Che Ahn. I first read his book, Into the Fire, back in 2000, I was drawn into a hunger for the supernatural...the supernatural fire of God, the ways He works. He opens that book, and this one, describing the night angels were seen at Mott Auditorium at one of his meetings. It was glorious!

I suppose he's trying to stoke my hunger fire again with this book, but it didn't happen. Maybe it's me, and where I am in my spiritual walk right now. My heart always wants the presence of God in my life, but I must admit that sometimes I get in my own way. Don't take my current cynicism as criticism of Che Ahn. I like him, but I just wasn't able to get what I wanted from this book. Don't let me keep you from getting this book if you're hungry for God. I believe it will help you.

A teacher and preacher, Che Ahn gives you his point-by-point advice about how to experience more of God's glory in your own life. He explains what is meant by the glory of God. He explains how to pursue God. For those who are hungry and don't have a clue about how to pursue the Lord, this book is for you! You'll enjoy it. It just seemed kind of 'elementary' to me, something we should already know how to do. Like I said, maybe it's just me.

For most readers, here's what you're looking for in Chapter 8: How to Receive More Glory. He has a five-step plan, that if you follow, you'll feel closer to God and experience His presence in a greater way. 1) Repent & Consecrate; 2) Hunger & Thirst; 3) Receive an impartation (from someone in national/international ministry)*; 4) Give it away; 5) Build the church. Should we not always be doing these things whenever possible?

* This supposes that you are in a position to receive a direct and personal impartation from someone in national/international ministry. His was from Billy Graham, and he asked Dr. Graham to pray for him and impart to him. Not everyone is in that position.

I would recommend this book for anyone who does want to experience more of God in their lives. Read it when you're hungry, not when you're stressed or cynical.