A month ago, I had some pretty definite thoughts about differences between parents and teachers. I still feel the same way and these posts are to help me process my still developing feelings as well as delineating and defining some things in my own mind. I hope these posts will be thought-provoking to you as well.
Since I'm not a 'parent' in the natural sense of the word, as I have never had children, I am somewhat limited in my understanding of who a parent is, what they do, and how they act. As I said in my last post, I feel the main difference is one of nurturing.
Teachers impart information, parents impart love and nurture. Teachers can encourage, correct, exhort and impart something of themselves into our lives. That is their main function. They are to help us learn information. They are to educate us on the subjects they are expert on and are qualified to teach us. They have us for a limited season of time. During that time, they 'teach' us whatever we can learn.
Parents, on the other hand, are there for the long haul. They are always there for us. They nurture us as they 'teach' us other things. They encourage, correct, and exhort us, but they do it with love. They do it with our best interests at heart. They see our long-range potential, and once we are 'adults,' they are still there for us to give us the benefit of their wisdom, because they are older than we are.
Some teachers are special though. Some of them seem to 'nurture' us over a longer period of time and sometimes seem more like parents to us. The Body of Christ has many teachers. It has always been so. The Apostle Paul, in I Corinthians 4:15 says, "For though you may have 10,000 instructors in Christ, you do not have many fathers..."
Wow. For though, we as modern day Christians, have many 'instructors' or teachers in Christ, who can teach us the Word, who can impart of their spirit to us, who can encourage, correct, and exhort us...we do not have many fathers.
That means, few Christians in the Body of Christ are "spiritual" parents. This is as true today as it was when Paul wrote to the Corinthians. Larry Kreider, founder of Dove Fellowship International, has written a book on it, and this issue is beginning to come to the forefront of Christianity.
I believe it's a call to spiritual parenting. It's a call to not just teach information for the short-term, but to spiritually develop 'children' in ways that will nurture them and help them to grow in the Spirit. Children are reproductions are their parents. So, in order to 'spiritually' reproduce ourselves, we need to be in relationship with those whom we can help, and whom can help us.
There are many Old Testament examples of this. David and his mighty men, Moses & Joshua, and Elijah & Elisha. If you study their stories, you'll see long-term relationship, impartation, and learning.
Timothy was a spiritual son to Paul. We don't know if Paul had natural children, but he surely had one spiritual son in Timothy. It was a long-term relationship.
My main observance in especially the last 1o-20 years is the preponderance of teachers...and how we 'students' tend to put them on pedestals and pretend they are our spiritual parents, when, most of the time, we learn by tape, CD, TV show or book. We must recognize this as teaching, but it's not parenting.
A parent is not a parent if they are not IN the person's life. Period. I've heard people say that so-and-so is their spiritual dad, their pastor, etc., when they are a nationally known evangelist or teacher, and this person does not have any kind of relationship with the evangelist or teacher other than they have their CDs and support the ministry financially.
I myself have had a real spiritual parent, but most were very anointed teachers who have imparted to me a great deal. I've had a couple of teachers who seemed like a spiritual father to me. Oral Roberts was one such. Being a student at ORU, following his ministry for years, and accepting his mandate to go into every man's world where God's light is dim and His voice is not heard well, made him seem like he was a spiritual father to me. He was very dear to me, but I did not have any kind of relationship with him other than being an ORU graduate.
There have been several ministers locally who have seemed like spiritual parents to me, but the relationship was only for a short season, or at the most a couple of years.
I am processing my feelings towards all of this. There are some great teachers I wish could have been like a spiritual parent to me - but alas, they were only teachers because the relationship was one-sided.
My point: consider asking the Lord to help you become a spiritual parent...to help you 'reproduce' yourself spiritually by helping others in a nurturing relationship and in a local body of believers. That's where you'll find the best parents, and the best 'children.'
Those are my thoughts. I welcome yours. Post a comment and let me know.
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