Overcoming a Bad Decision - a MistakeHow does one overcome a bad decision? I don't know that I have a definitive answer, but I do know that we have to continue to move forward, even if it's just one step at a time.
The obvious thing is to 'repent' - which just means to change the way you think about it. How does this play out when we make a mistake?
We first have to acknowledge we made the mistake, and prepare ourselves to understand how this wrong direction is going to affect our future. Three and a half years ago, I made a 'mistake' in ministry - one that had a profound effect on my life - and now has totally changed my life's direction.
Which is why I say I don't have a definitive answer. The first thing I did was to throw myself into God's arms and ask Him to show me what was it in me, and my life that caused this 'mistake' to occur. I was totally broken.
I remember hearing a story once about how a shepherd will take a wandering sheep and deliberately break it's leg, then carry it around on his shoulders until it's leg is healed. After that, the sheep doesn't ever wander off again. That's what happened to my heart. It was totally broken, and the Good Shepherd carried me on His shoulders for three months until I healed enough for me to consider going His direction for me - not my direction for me.
In fact, I was so broken, when Jesus took me off His shoulders and set me on the ground again, I wasn't moving at all - until He gently put me in the direction of "chocolate." I still remember that experience - and I'm still very cautious - even though that I know that I'm never going to get anywhere unless I step out in faith. Because I'm afraid to make a mistake now. But nevertheless, I still step out.
Which is what I did again today. I stepped out and started another blog, a place to put all my book reviews, so that this space can be totally for the things I feel God is showing me. I'm going to be speaking to issues and points of view that we need to be thinking about as Christians today.
Blessings to you.
A couple of posts ago, I alluded to a decision I made a long time ago that still affects me today.
That decision was in 1971. I had just gotten "put down" two chairs in band, and I wasn't a happy camper. I was already down pretty far in the clarinet pecking order. I had done everything possible to make my secondhand plastic clarinet sound better. I had bought better quality reeds, better ligatures (the thing that holds the reed to the mouthpiece) and a better mouthpiece. Alas, even after all those improvements, the clarinet still sounded plastic. Wooden clarinets have a rich, easy, clear tone quality to them that enriches your soul. I had never heard a wooden clarinet until I was in high school. I fell in love with the sound.
Earlier in the school year, our local music store had come to band and offered a deal - $100 trade-in on any old instrument. My dad was a travelling salesman for PPG. I knew he would be gone for three more days. Tuesday after school, I went down to the music store and "traded in" my old clarinet. They said we could "try out" a new instrument before we bought it. I knew I would at least get to play this beautiful-sounding new clarinet for at least three days before taking it back to the store on Saturday if Dad said no.
You had to know my dad. For some reason, he always said "No" to everything you asked for – at first. But if it was a reasonable request, or a very important one, and you responded well, he usually changed his mind. Knowing this, I expected a "No" on Friday evening.
For three glorious days, I got to play that new clarinet – in band, at home. I played it as much as I could. I played it until my lips started getting sore. My band director saw I had a new instrument. I told him I was hoping to keep it. My mother could tell the sound was different. She was sympathetic to my cause, but realistically thinking was impossible.
Of course, Dad said "No" Friday evening, but I handled it well, and didn't act too disappointed.
I was also a fairly new born-again Christian. I prayed a Gideon's Fleece type of prayer. I said, "Lord, if You want me to have this clarinet, have Dad ask me again how much it costs." Now – Dad knew how much it cost. We had gone over all the particulars.
I'm vacuuming the living floor. It was one of my Saturday chores. Five minutes go by. Dad comes into the living room.
"How much did you say that clarinet cost?"
I outwardly gulp, but inwardly I am SCREAMING!
"Well, they said…"
Within an hour, that clarinet was mine. As a result of that decision, in my senior year, I qualified for a scholarship that paid for private lessons.
As a result of the lessons, I entered a clarinet solo in the Kansas State High School Music Contest. I was also a part of two other small instrumental groups. They all qualified for medals if you got a 'one' rating.
They did. I still have those medals. I got them out about a month ago, when I was having a 'bad' day emotionally. And they showed me that decision on a Tuesday afternoon to go to the music store after school, was a decision that is still affecting me today.
Next time: How to overcome a bad decision that still haunts you.
Proverbs also says, "Like a fluttering sparrow, an undeserved curse cannot alight." What that means is - if you don't deserve that curse, it can't harm you. The only curses, word or otherwise, that can harm you, are those you 'deserve.' When I got a real revelation on that a few years ago, it took fear out of my life.
Recently, someone accused me of cursing them with my words - twice. I have done a lot of soul searching and checking with others in the Body to see if this was so. The last thing I want to do is curse someone with my words.
I reviewed what I said, and I know I didn't curse. I asked the Lord directly, and He revealed I had not cursed. I tried to warn, and in prayer, I tried to bless. I'm praying for someone to receive joy, for heaven's sake! They took it as a curse. Obviously they had spiritual stops in their ears and they weren't really listening to what I was saying, because they interrupted me.
At that point, I knew further conversation was pointless and I tried graciously for about a minute to extricate myself from this phone conversation, but they wouldn't be quiet long enough to listen to what I was saying, so when I hung up, they thought I hung up on them. I'll admit it was abrupt, but they weren't listening.
I took a course once that taught "How you listen to others is how you listen to God." Are you correctable? Do you see everything 'negative' as a word curse?
As Christians, our spirits are alive, but sometimes our souls (mind, will, emotions) get in the way of hearing God's voice and mistaking what we think we hear.
I got up on my soapbox about being involved in a local congregation. Since yesterday when I posted, God showed me something else about non-church attendance that I wasn't expecting.
I was this way at one time, and I know a few people who feel this way now. A typical comment that you hear from those who do not attend church is, "It's so dead. I don't like it. It's too much like a business. The people are fake. All it is - is a social club, there's no deep spirituality. It makes me want to vomit because of the facade."
As I was getting ready for bed, God showed me that those of us who separate ourselves from the Body because of these attitudes, show ourselves to be children who don't like HIM very much.
I never would have thought of that, but I really think when we make statements against the corporate Body of Christ because we don't like the pastor, or we don't like the service, or we don't like the music, or we don't like the organizational way they operate - we're saying, "God, we don't like the way You've structured things on earth."
That's lawlessness, people. Jesus said this about lawless people, "Go away. I never knew you - you who practice lawlessness."
Once we recognize these attitudes in ourselves, we need to immediately, and I mean, immediately - change the way we think about all this. Repent just means change the way you think. It doesn't mean I'm sorry, although it could mean that, there could be and should be sorrow in changing our thinking - but it's so much more than remorse.
We have to change the way we think. We have to or we will never progress. We'll be stuck in our lawlessness until something else God orchestrates in our lives gets out attention. And believe me, that next thing will hurt a lot more than the first thing. Ask me about 2006...
I just recognized a lawless attitude in myself about "social clubs" (small groups) just a week ago. But I realize their importance in establishing relationships. And relationships take time. So I 'repented' from my lawless attitude, and I look forward to building relationships with people who are older than I - in my small group. I'm excited about mining the spiritual riches these people have. I'm excited about re-connecting with a spiritual father from Worship Center Bible School.
Prophetic people are the worst when it comes to spiritual authority and lawlessness, mainly because of spiritual immaturity. I was a prophetically-gifted person and I fell into all the traps. Thankfully, I had mentors and teachers along the way who showed me my error. And - God Himself directly intervened in my life when I would take lawless turns. He gave me grace and He corrected me very strongly on several occasions, through people, or through Himself directly.
I'm so thankful for those corrections - even though they hurt like crazy - because I would not be where I am now if not for them. I could have held to my stinkin' thinkin' - but I'm so glad I didn't. Because all stinkin' thinkin' does is delay you. If your stinkin' thinkin' is due to hurts and wounds from spiritual authority, get healing, get counseling if needed. Realize that God wants you to progress and move forward. It may hurt for awhile, weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
This too is part of my decisions and consequences series, because if not for certain decisions I made, I wouldn't be writing this. I wouldn't have had the wisdom, and I wouldn't have had the blessings of God on my life.
Thanks for reading. It's not easy reading, but I pray you will be blessed by it.
Last year I made a decision to start this blog, and another one for professional purposes. I had been taking an online writing class and I wanted to write - even if I couldn't get paid for it right away.
I "embraced" becoming a writer. I thought the chocolate business had started itself well and things were chugging along. I thought I could do two things at once.
I was wrong. Although I received encouragement to write, I didn't hardly get any writing "jobs" or submissions accepted. This sent me into a funk last fall. As a result of my pursuing writing, the chocolate business didn't do as well as I had hoped.
I had to make a decision. And I made it. I once took a spiritual development class that talked about "the weight of a decision." The point was that the more important the decision, the more outside confirmation you need to receive. The problem I had with that was that the instructors seemed to place greater emphasis for confirmation on spiritual experiences I had never had.
I didn't feel that was realistic for most followers of Christ. Next time: the decision I made and some of the consequences. What about you? How do you make the tough decisions - regarding life direction, ministry direction, etc.?
I like Che Ahn. I first read his book, Into the Fire, back in 2000, I was drawn into a hunger for the supernatural...the supernatural fire of God, the ways He works. He opens that book, and this one, describing the night angels were seen at Mott Auditorium at one of his meetings. It was glorious!
I suppose he's trying to stoke my hunger fire again with this book, but it didn't happen. Maybe it's me, and where I am in my spiritual walk right now. My heart always wants the presence of God in my life, but I must admit that sometimes I get in my own way. Don't take my current cynicism as criticism of Che Ahn. I like him, but I just wasn't able to get what I wanted from this book. Don't let me keep you from getting this book if you're hungry for God. I believe it will help you.
A teacher and preacher, Che Ahn gives you his point-by-point advice about how to experience more of God's glory in your own life. He explains what is meant by the glory of God. He explains how to pursue God. For those who are hungry and don't have a clue about how to pursue the Lord, this book is for you! You'll enjoy it. It just seemed kind of 'elementary' to me, something we should already know how to do. Like I said, maybe it's just me.
For most readers, here's what you're looking for in Chapter 8: How to Receive More Glory. He has a five-step plan, that if you follow, you'll feel closer to God and experience His presence in a greater way. 1) Repent & Consecrate; 2) Hunger & Thirst; 3) Receive an impartation (from someone in national/international ministry)*; 4) Give it away; 5) Build the church. Should we not always be doing these things whenever possible?
* This supposes that you are in a position to receive a direct and personal impartation from someone in national/international ministry. His was from Billy Graham, and he asked Dr. Graham to pray for him and impart to him. Not everyone is in that position.
I would recommend this book for anyone who does want to experience more of God in their lives. Read it when you're hungry, not when you're stressed or cynical.
The haunting image of the young boy on the cover, coupled with the name Michael Landon Jr. was enough to intrigue me to read.
"Jr. Landon," as I call him, with Cindy Kelley, successfully turned the first two of Janette Oke's "Love Comes Softly" series into great films for television. They co-wrote the scripts on at least the first two, if not three.
I think they should stick to making movies. This is their first novel and the story seems very contrived to me. One element I've noticed about "SR Landon" storytelling is that sometimes, for dramatic effect, one had to strain their incredulity just a bit too far. I remember one "Little House on the Prairie" episode that had Laura and Almanzo losing their crop, then losing their house, then they both got really sick. And all this happened at once.
This story about a sweet deaf mute boy sometimes stretches incredulity. Set in the 1930s, during the Depression, the boy and his mother are forced to flee the father. They live at the Salvation Army for a few days, then on the street. Finally, a big break comes, or so it seems. The plot goes downhill from here, and doesn't turn around until the very end. Almost as an afterthought, the last chapter is from the boy's point of view.
I had high hopes for this story, and at times, I was touched, but overall, well, like I said, I think they should stick to adapting others' works for the screen. That's what they're good at.
A month ago, I had some pretty definite thoughts about differences between parents and teachers. I still feel the same way and these posts are to help me process my still developing feelings as well as delineating and defining some things in my own mind. I hope these posts will be thought-provoking to you as well.
Since I'm not a 'parent' in the natural sense of the word, as I have never had children, I am somewhat limited in my understanding of who a parent is, what they do, and how they act. As I said in my last post, I feel the main difference is one of nurturing.
Teachers impart information, parents impart love and nurture. Teachers can encourage, correct, exhort and impart something of themselves into our lives. That is their main function. They are to help us learn information. They are to educate us on the subjects they are expert on and are qualified to teach us. They have us for a limited season of time. During that time, they 'teach' us whatever we can learn.
Parents, on the other hand, are there for the long haul. They are always there for us. They nurture us as they 'teach' us other things. They encourage, correct, and exhort us, but they do it with love. They do it with our best interests at heart. They see our long-range potential, and once we are 'adults,' they are still there for us to give us the benefit of their wisdom, because they are older than we are.
Some teachers are special though. Some of them seem to 'nurture' us over a longer period of time and sometimes seem more like parents to us. The Body of Christ has many teachers. It has always been so. The Apostle Paul, in I Corinthians 4:15 says, "For though you may have 10,000 instructors in Christ, you do not have many fathers..."
Wow. For though, we as modern day Christians, have many 'instructors' or teachers in Christ, who can teach us the Word, who can impart of their spirit to us, who can encourage, correct, and exhort us...we do not have many fathers.
That means, few Christians in the Body of Christ are "spiritual" parents. This is as true today as it was when Paul wrote to the Corinthians. Larry Kreider, founder of Dove Fellowship International, has written a book on it, and this issue is beginning to come to the forefront of Christianity.
I believe it's a call to spiritual parenting. It's a call to not just teach information for the short-term, but to spiritually develop 'children' in ways that will nurture them and help them to grow in the Spirit. Children are reproductions are their parents. So, in order to 'spiritually' reproduce ourselves, we need to be in relationship with those whom we can help, and whom can help us.
There are many Old Testament examples of this. David and his mighty men, Moses & Joshua, and Elijah & Elisha. If you study their stories, you'll see long-term relationship, impartation, and learning.
Timothy was a spiritual son to Paul. We don't know if Paul had natural children, but he surely had one spiritual son in Timothy. It was a long-term relationship.
My main observance in especially the last 1o-20 years is the preponderance of teachers...and how we 'students' tend to put them on pedestals and pretend they are our spiritual parents, when, most of the time, we learn by tape, CD, TV show or book. We must recognize this as teaching, but it's not parenting.
A parent is not a parent if they are not IN the person's life. Period. I've heard people say that so-and-so is their spiritual dad, their pastor, etc., when they are a nationally known evangelist or teacher, and this person does not have any kind of relationship with the evangelist or teacher other than they have their CDs and support the ministry financially.
I myself have had a real spiritual parent, but most were very anointed teachers who have imparted to me a great deal. I've had a couple of teachers who seemed like a spiritual father to me. Oral Roberts was one such. Being a student at ORU, following his ministry for years, and accepting his mandate to go into every man's world where God's light is dim and His voice is not heard well, made him seem like he was a spiritual father to me. He was very dear to me, but I did not have any kind of relationship with him other than being an ORU graduate.
There have been several ministers locally who have seemed like spiritual parents to me, but the relationship was only for a short season, or at the most a couple of years.
I am processing my feelings towards all of this. There are some great teachers I wish could have been like a spiritual parent to me - but alas, they were only teachers because the relationship was one-sided.
My point: consider asking the Lord to help you become a spiritual parent...to help you 'reproduce' yourself spiritually by helping others in a nurturing relationship and in a local body of believers. That's where you'll find the best parents, and the best 'children.'
Those are my thoughts. I welcome yours. Post a comment and let me know.
